ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN. ONE GIANT LEAP FOR HUMANKIND?Growing up in the UK in the 80s and 90s, I quickly learnt that when a high profile man announced he was quitting his job "to spend more time with my family", it meant he had been stung by a tabloid kiss and tell. For some reason, I suppose to prove that his wife would still share air space with him, such statements had to be accompanied by a family photo splashed on the paper’s front page, always a masterclass in public relations gone wrong. The man, usually a politician, would clamp his arm around his wife’s waist, displaying all the tenderness of a desperate scrum half snatching the ball 10 seconds too late, while she bristled with palpable awkwardness. Meanwhile the kids would either be fidgeting uncomfortably in smart clothes they hadn't worn since cousin Josh's christening or folding themselves bashfully into their mother's skirt. Dad would be dressed in a suit and tie, as if to underscore his complete unsuitedness to the new life making Playdoh cakes that he supposedly craved. Contrast that then, with the resignation statement from Rubin Ritter, co-CEO of online fashion giant Zalando. Rubin, who steps down this week but announced his decision a few months ago is - you’ve guessed it - going to "devote more time to my growing family". But he added nonchalantly, "my wife and I have agreed that for the coming years, her professional ambitions should take priority." And... that was it. No parading of said wife and family, like some sort of actually-quite-sweet booby prize. No explanation of wife's ambitions as justification for walking away from a brand valued at $23 billion. Not even the mention of her name. Nope, just his decision, and the observation from one of his co-CEOs that Ritter is a "role model to many" in the company. Of course we can't know the full story behind his move (and frankly, if it's anything other than a big fat triumph for equality, nobody tell me because I need this little bubble of hope right now). But I don't think it's overstating it to call his statement a game-changer. In just a few well chosen words, he’s opened the door for a much-needed, often overlooked conversation about the intersection of careers and love. And crucially, one which is told through a man's not a woman's voice (which let's face it, 99.9% of the domestic debate has been over the last year). Ritter is clearly cushioned by a fantastic amount of privilege. But who doesn't know a straight man who has felt compelled to use vague labels like 'entrepreneur' or 'freelancer' as a socially acceptable smokescreen, when they are in fact a stay at home dad? We all need to hear more honesty like this coming down from the top. Even without kids, navigating two people's opportunities, dreams and goals is always something of a seesaw. And even without a partner, other challenges arise to disrupt the devotion so many careers require. How much better it would be if we could all be open about this tension, confidently labelling a year out of work as being a supportive partner, or a carer for an ill parent, rather than hiding it for fear you’ll be consigned to the 'lacking ambition' pile. Could this be the start? That really would be a statement worth making.
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