Vol 008 | April 15 2021

Hey, good to see you! This is the eighth volume of
The Persistence, which rounds up female-focused reads to help you feel seen, save time and make sense of the world. Thanks for popping in.

FIRE

IT’S A TOPSY TURVY WORLD IF MEN ALWAYS SPEAK FOR WOMEN

Well, it’s nice to know some things never change, eh? Despite the world being turned upside down by the pandemic, one thing remains stubbornly the same - the representation of women where it matters. Yes, that good old tradition beloved of governments and boardrooms now extends to Covid Task Forces, the institutions put together by individual countries to shape their new normal. Or maybe that should just be old normal with added masks. 

I somehow missed news of this report from the UN when it landed a few weeks ago (which I’m pretty sure says more about the coverage of it than my reading habits). But it’s familiar stuff - men outnumber women three to one on Covid task forces, and of the 225 global groups studied, 26 featured no women at all.  Remember reading all those chin-scratching headlines wondering if female-led countries had better Covid outcomes? These guys don’t.

So it felt like the U.N’s Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka spoke for all of us - and with admirable restraint - when she commented on the report; “It is inconceivable that we can address the most discriminatory crisis we have ever experienced without full engagement of women. At the moment, men have given themselves the impossible task of making the right decisions about women without the benefit of women’s insights.”

That’s women who have born the brunt of job losses, who studies suggest could be more at risk of long Covid, who have been subject to soaring levels of domestic violence during lockdowns, shouldered 62 hours of childcare (versus 32 for men) and who make up 70% of the global healthcare workforce. There’s no country on earth that doesn’t need to factor these issues in to their post pandemic plan. And there’s no country on earth that can’t find female expertise to do so. Choosing not to is shamelessly clinging to a dangerous point of view, like driving in the dark with only one headlight. Sitting on such a task force without calling it out is no better. While the rest of society is having to turn on its head and instantly adapt to all manner of changes, why the hell can’t male-dominated institutions do the same?

3 more ‘alternative’ views to take in:

1. Say what? An actual woman on the pandemic’s impact on actual women:
I had to take a break from sharing articles outlining the pandemic’s toll on women because, you know, preaching to the choir and all that. But here is definitely the place to point you to Helen Lewis’ recent essay ‘The Pandemic Has Given Women a New Rage’, written with her usual verve and shrewdness.

2. Turning the male gaze on itself:
So far I’ve only read excerpts of You are not the Man You Are Supposed To Be by Martin Robinson, but like The Book of Man website which he also edits, it promises to kickstart bold and nuanced conversations about masculinity, and how ‘old school male dominated society is not just damaging to women, it’s damaging to men too.’

3. In defence of all-male anythings:
Please take a minute to pop by and show Tracy some love for her phenomenal formatting skills showcased in this pithy piece… God knows no-one else will. 

POWER

A CONFIDENCE MASTERCLASS FROM SHONDA RHIMES

Reading that Netflix have commissioned seasons three and four of Bridgerton (via Lady Whistledown, of course) reminded me of this powerful interview with the show’s producer and entertainment heavyweight, Shonda Rhimes. It centres around her industry-rocking move from Disney to Netflix, but is so much more than that, revealing how she originally struggled to own success like her male peers, and crucially, how at 48 she learnt to do so.  It's a thoughtful, deeply honest look at how she made change on her own terms, in her own time, and a valuable reminder that all the TED talks in the world can’t insulate you from the culture shock of a new company, or confidence wobbles in a big role. Reassuring and empowering in equal measure.

LOVE

WHAT IT REALLY FEELS LIKE TO LOSE THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE

Say what you like about British royal Prince Phillip (no really, he’d do the same about you), but the guy certainly stuck it out. 73 years of any marriage is almost impossible to imagine, never mind one where your other half literally expects to be treated like royalty. Amid all the commentary about Queen Elizabeth facing a new chapter without ‘her strength and stay’, it made me realise how little we talk about this end of relationships, compared to how much air time is given to finding a partner in the first place. And of course, how little we hear the perspective of older women generally, when talking about love. ‘How does it feel to be single after a lifetime of marriage?’ gives voice to four widowed women, aged 53 to 95, and is a gentle, heartwarming read. If their confessions of loneliness bring a tear to your eye, then the striking living room portraits accompanying them - all chintzy armchairs and china dolls - will surely make you smile.

CAREERS

THE IMPORTANT BUSINESS OF BODY TALK

Does your workplace have a menopause policy? Would you want it to? I’ll admit, when I first heard talk of these a few years ago, I wasn’t convinced. Having survived being seen as a walking baby time-bomb in our 20s and 30s, do we really want to invite the spectre of might-get-irrationally-shouty-and-bang-on-about-fans to haunt our later career moves? Even this week, as I clicked on this story from The Drum in which advertising industry leaders share how they’re supporting menopausal staff, I was still a bit sceptical. Do women really need another bloody thing marking us out as different in the workplace?

But - ha! That’s the point isn’t it? We are different! Biologically at the very least, we experience different things to men which often intrude in to other areas of our lives. We’ve just been conditioned to politely hide that fact whenever it becomes too uncomfortable or inconvenient for anyone else. I’m pretty sure no company handbook has ever stated that female employees must always perform the infamous tampon-up-the-sleeve trick, or are banned from saying the word ‘period!’ out loud. (‘Section IV part ii: if articulating your place in the menstrual cycle is genuinely unavoidable, please do so silently by mouthing it discreetly to a female colleague - and only in cases of extreme pain - lest the word itself infects the ears of male co-workers’). But somehow, we’ve all learned that’s what we should do.

Menopause policies, I’m embarrassed to fully realise now, are simply about updating those company handbooks. Rather than highlighting our differences, they highlight that older women exist, full stop, and correct the male default setting that has its muddy paws on pretty much every slice of life. I’m not sure what I imagined they meant, perhaps being lured in to a meeting room for a “surprise!” End of ovulation party with oestrogen patches strung up as bunting - and no doubt there’s a corner of Instagram where this is already happening. In truth, I swerved thinking about it all as much as possible. If you’re the same, you might want to check out “I’m losing my mind: let’s talk about it”, by ad agency Chief Executive Melissa Robertson. Her straight-talking account of how the menopause has impacted her professionally made me realise that just like morning sickness, it’s definitely going to be a case of better out than in when the time comes.

“I’ve decided that I’m just going to say the unsayable. “I’m so sorry, I’m menopausal, and it’s playing havoc with my brain/body, please can you bear with me/indulge my craziness.”

Melissa Robertson, CEO, Dark Horses

JOY

MUSICAL INTERLUDE

🎧 The chorus sounds like an anthem for our times (despite being written in 1993), the lead singer (who celebrates her 56th birthday today) is the perfect antidote to all those TikTok twerkers, and none of them are blonde… Can you guess what it is yet?

Can I ask a favour? Would you help me spread the word about The Persistence by sharing this with a friend? And as ever, your views on this, the state of the world or just what the hell’s for dinner are gratefully received below. Thank you!

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