Vol 004 | March 18 2021

FIRE

IT’S TIME TO REWRITE THE STORY ABOUT WOMEN’S SAFETY

It’s hard to find the words this week, after so many distressing attacks on women’s safety. Yet words have never mattered more. Trump’s much repeated racist ‘jokes’ about Asians and coronavirus hang heavily in the air as flowers were laid all over America for the eight Asians, six of whom were women, shot in Atlanta. A few days before, Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison declared it a “triumph of democracy” that thousands of women marching against rape and sexual violence were not being shot. “Not far from here, such marches are being met with bullets – but not here in this country,” he said smugly.

Unlike Trump’s, Morrison’s words might have had noble intentions, but they were spectacularly ill-timed - not least because (ok, quite a bit further from there) British police had just dragged women from a vigil mourning Sarah Everard, sparking a global outcry. But they offered a disturbing subtext too. If you believe women should be grateful for a portion-controlled piece of freedom, then you do not see them as equal.

Right on cue came the comment from Atlanta; the guy who killed six Asian women was ‘having a really bad day’, said the sheriff’s spokesman, instantly reducing his victims to the status of a snapped pencil. His words made sure we all knew who really mattered, centring the murderer’s stress levels - rather than the victims right to life.

It was a reminder that what isn’t said can be as powerful as what is. We refer to ‘violence against women’ - which renders the perpetrator an enigma - instead of the more accurate male on female violence. What if other crimes were treated the same, and rather than accidents involving ‘drunk drivers’, we reported on ‘collisions with sober people’? Might we privately wonder why they didn’t get out of the way? And is there anything more reductive than the trivialised, don’t-mind-us ‘family matter’ that is ‘domestic violence’? Why not say murder or assault?

As I try to navigate all of this (*gesticulates wildly*) with my own daughters, language often feels like one of my few weapons. I’ve long irritated them (and no doubt anyone listening) by trilling ‘Let’s go! There’s the green lady wearing trousers!’ at traffic lights; a small but daily attempt at disruption. Yet I winced when I first saw the headline Male Violence is a Greater Threat Than Terrorism. That word… So incendiary. Funny how I’ve got the message not to see crimes against women in the same way. It proves to be a powerful lens to examine an age old problem though, and I’d urge you to read it. Some of the most furious responses I saw to Sarah Everard’s case came from middle aged women, women who’ve heard this horror story so many times during our own lives and now face telling it to the next generation. Women who, like Sco-Mo, Trump, and that Atlanta officer, get to choose our own words. Could this be the “radical shift of perspective” we need to share?

HOPE

WHY NOMADLAND IS A WINNER FOR WOMEN

Nomadland continues to make all the best headlines. After breaking barriers (the glass screen?!) at the Golden Globes, it’s just landed a glut of Oscar nominations, including best director for Chloe Zhao (she’s the first woman of colour to be shortlisted for the director’s gong) and best actress for Frances McDormand. Alongside nominations for the excellent sounding Promising Young Woman directed by Emerald Fennell (more on her another time - there are just so many good pieces to pick through) it led to some excited declarations that this is awards’ season’s ‘Year of Women’. And while I can’t get on board with that, considering this is the first time two women have been IN the best director category rather than, you know, dominating it, I will fist-bump female made AND focused stories winning so much critical acclaim. As This essay triumphantly reminds us, it’s incredibly rare to see an ‘older’ woman, and one sans botox and blowdries like McDormand, front and centre on film. Oh, and the stats on how many leading ladies are 45+ are astonishing…

One more thing: This quote - “I don’t think I’ve *ever* seen a movie about an older woman that is about her in relationship to herself instead of in the capacity of mother, grandmother, wise aunt, etc.” was exactly how I felt after ‘meeting’ Olive Kitteridge in Elizabeth Strout’s novel of the same name. If rebellious, spiky, say-it-how-it-is women are your bag, and you’re not already acquainted, check it out.

HEALTH

WHAT 40-SOMETHING WOMEN NEED TO KNOW ABOUT COVID

Well here’s a thing. This week, the Netherlands where I live, joined 16 other European countries in pausing use of the Astrazeneca vaccine after reports of thrombosis in 37 of the 17 million people who received it. Also this week: a small UK study found women under 50 were five times more likely than men to develop long Covid whilst a review of more than 300 scientific reports concluded long Covid is ‘more common in women.’ Both echoed a study of 4,182 patients from the end of last year, which found for women between 40 and 50 the risk of long Covid was double that of men.

That’s a lot of numbers. And there are clearly many differences between these two stories - not least the size of their data sets. But on a very basic level, I can’t help comparing the reactions. One, (despite the WHO saying the rates of thrombosis reflect usual occurences in the population) has generated huge amounts of debate and decisive action in just a few weeks. The other - well, have you heard any world leaders talking about it?

Research in to long Covid is certainly happening, but the gender aspect is frequently left out. It’s a familiar story. Middle-aged women have long been told that health hardships are just par for their course, with little research in to conditions like endometriosis, the menopause, and my personal nemesis, hyperemesis gravidarum. Actually, we’ve been told the same about thrombosis too - the contraceptive pill triples a woman’s risk of blood clots within a year. Go figure. All this makes Why Covid is a Feminist Issue such a valuable read. It joins the dots from early twentieth century women being diagnosed with ‘hysteria’ to women like Amy, originally prescribed antidepressants but now considering buying a wheelchair due to long Covid.

MOST MOTIVATING MEME I’VE SEEN THIS WEEK*

“You’re always going to be young in someone’s eyes and old in someone else’s, talented to one person and terrible to the next. The world’s never going to agree on a definition of what you are so you might as well ignore that sh*t and be whatever the f*ck you wanna be for yourself.”

@girlandhermagic

*said by someone not that in to memes

JOY

THESE DIARY ENTRIES WILL WARM YOUR HEART

Part of the goal in launching The Persistence was to make midlife women feel more connected with each other. 12 Women’s Diaries from a Year In the Pandemic did just that for me (though, can’t lie, ‘A Year In’ rather than ‘The Year of’ made my heart sink). From the mixed blessings of embarking on van life to the effect of Ruth Bader Ginsberg’s death on same sex marriage, the women’s reflections drape a thick blanket of humanity over historic events. It’s intimate, comforting and intriguing - not things we get to feel much during these monotonous, socially distanced times. Reading it with a good cup of coffee, I almost felt I was back in the good old days, sitting in a cafe, eavesdropping on a conversation that I’d still be thinking about days later. On that note, if anyone knows a Cristi Moody, last seen in Maine, I’d love to hear how she’s doing.

HAVE YOUR SAY

THIS IS THE FOURTH ISSUE OF THE PERSISTENCE…

…time for the one month appraisal! I’d be so grateful for feedback on 3 simple things; what do you like, what do you not, and how could this newsletter add more value to your inbox? If you have 2 minutes - I mean, I know you don’t but if you’d kindly spare them, it would be much appreciated. Hit me up here

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